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Birthday parties, mother in laws, melt downs and the art of saying thank you.

Eileen in 1931

My mother in law was a product of The Great Depression; as a result she had a certain way of doing things. For example: She really enjoyed her food AND would eat every morsel on her plate – even if she was full. She always had lipstick on and her hair sprayed. On the occasions when she and I would go out for lunch, she would have only two vodka martinis - never three! (A mistake I made only once.) My mother in law expected that children should, at all times be happy, polite and obedient – especially when we had company. There was also a certain protocol around gift giving. Eileen was very generous and really enjoyed giving presents. It took me about six years of marriage to learn the four phases of her gift giving protocol - the most important of which is phase 3: the thank you. If that went wrong the entire visit had an air of tension around it.

As a young mother who believed it was okay to let children run around naked, to breastfeed and sleep in bed with us until THEY no longer felt it necessary and who encouraged them to explore their “independence” and express their real feelings – sometimes my mother in law’s expectations didn’t always match the reality of our home. (Except for the martini part – we did that well together from the beginning.)

 Our children were both born at the end of May and were only two years apart so I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that our baby, Chase, often had his birthday celebration tacked onto his older sister’s. This lasted until he started to figure it out. There was one memorable birthday in particular. The year they turned 5 and 3 – 2001. Our daughter Skye was falling in love with horses, so of course both kids had a horse theme, my girlfriend brought her pony to our house and all the kids had a fabulous time riding it.

After the frenzy of the piñata candy, games, cake and pony rides it was time for Nan to give the kids her gifts. Any parent out there will know that I had orchestrated the worst possible time in this busy day for such an important ritual. I take full responsibility for the outcome.

Our guests gone, it was finally quiet and we went into the sitting room where Nan had two big gifts on her lap. It was time for phase one of the gift giving ritual: polite conversation, in this circumstance reflections of the party. When that was done and since Skye was oldest she received her gift first. Setting a prime example for the remaining phases of the gift receiving ritual: Phase two: express joy upon seeing the gift. Phase three: get up, hug and kiss Nan, look her in the eyes and say thank you (sometimes more than once). Phase three: show the world your gift – in this case put on the hat and turn around.

This was a facebook profile pic for awhile
So I think it is okay to use it.
(besides - it is the only pic we have of the hat!)

Now it was Chase’s turn. Barely able to contain himself he tolerated the well-intentioned but not so fun teasing about whether he thought the next present was for him. He finally secured his gift, tore it open and found… a cowboy hat. Just like his sisters, only a different colour. At this point, my tired, strung out on sugar three year old son deviated from the gift giving ritual, hurled the cowboy hat to the floor and very sincerely asked. “Is that all? Do you have another present?” Upon hearing a shocked, mortified and jaw dropping “No!” my poor son, who was much larger than most three year olds burst into tears and turned to me to for comfort. Dramatically seeking much needed solace in the only place that my distraught three year old - and many others around the world- can find it in circumstances as devastating as this - under my shirt desperately blubbering our code word: ‘leche’. The party was over. All four phases of the giving ritual had failed miserably and we had given Eileen yet another reason to be appalled and had to scurry upstairs for a ‘nap’.

Eileen in 2009

Now dear reader, you may be asking yourself what on earth this has to do with fundraising? Well, a lot actually. Every time I hear the classic debate about asking for another gift in a thank you letter I think about what my mother in law’s response would have been. Eileen MacKenzie, had a very high opinion of the good work that charities do and was proud of her donations. However, she had a very low opinion of the people who raise the money for charity work to happen. In fact, Eileen had specifically asked me not to talk about my work with her friends. This is not atypical. Fundraising as a profession is still not given the respect it deserves. I have had major donors tell me in person that they don’t feel I should be paid for what I do – that is another blog post. As professional fundraisers we must gently match people who have money to give, with charities that align with their values.

My point is that the majority of donors are from an older generation and we can assume that they share the similar values as my mother in law. With few exceptions, my experience has proven this for me in dozens of conversations with my donors over the years. If my mother in law had received a solicitation in a thank you letter she would have called all fundraisers ‘greedy bastards’ and would have felt regretful about her previous gift. (note: I know we have to innovate, I know donors are changing, but the fact still remains that the majority of funds come in through the mail and in major gifts from donors over 55 years old the data will tell you that)

There are no absolutes in this business, however, I believe that fundraising is not about aggressive direct marketing techniques that have a high churn rate and make more money. I’m happy to leave that with the corporate sector, those days are gone for us. Fundraising and philanthropy are about people making a difference together. When done well it should feel good to give and it should feel good to receive. This is a people based, emotional business. This profession, at the core, is based on good human relationships. That is why a thank you – JUST gratitude and nothing else - is so important. After that we need to pause, report impact and then EARN the next gift.

There has been a lot of controversy lately about this word ‘relationship’ and the idea of ‘Relationship Fundraising’. Since this post is three times longer than recommended I’ll save the bulk of that argument for another time.

I’ll just end with this. I am very grateful that early in my career (2002), through an inter library loan, I ordered a book called Relationship Fundraising by Ken Burnett. It took four weeks to get to me from a small library in Northern Ontario. (Sorry Ken I don’t remember where exactly.) In that book I learned two important lessons that make up the core of how I approach this profession:

1. If we focus on building good respectful relationships between our donors, ourselves and our organizations the money will follow.

2. Money is a means to an end – it isn’t the objective.

I know that data is important for strategic decisions, I also know that good business practices are essential and I appreciate that much of Relationship Fundraising is anecdotal and not evidence based. Except for this: MY evidence. A very small sample I know. Over the past eight years (as far back as I started tracking) and through two recessions, by focussing on relationships instead of dollars the two organizations that I have worked for have consistently achieved double digit growth. In 2010 over 16.5% (it will be more for 2011 the fiscal isn’t over yet) and up to 35% growth on average per year from 2004 – 2009. This is not an exaggeration, I check with the director of finance annually to confirm this track record. By making relationships the priority the organizations I work for have been able to do this during a time when a lot of fundraisers are moaning about recessions.

I am very proud to be a member of what has recently been referred to as the ‘Relationship Fundraising Cult’ because I know it works. Get me the T-Shirt, I’ll wear it proudly. I also know that a lot of people and organizations don’t really understand what it means nor do they do it very well. (Yet another blog post.)

In conclusion, I’m happy to report that my relationship with my mother in law survived the birthday party of 2001 and it was a great privilege for me to be by her side when she died a somewhat peaceful death at 84 after a very short bout with cancer in 2010. You may also be relieved to know that my children are no longer breastfeeding and prefer to sleep by themselves with their laptops for company instead of me. Perhaps that is something else to worry about...

Finally, I believe that relationships between organizations and donors will be damaged if our thank you letters are tarnished with a solicitation. Gratitude ought to be pure, sincere and 100% about what the donor has been able to achieve for the world with their gift.



Skye still rides horses

Chase is allergic to them and prefers Basketball



I now have my very own copy of this book.
I would be happy to share it with you.
.Ooops I meant click here to buy your own

  

Thank you for spending time here

,

The balance between ambition and contentment

Anyone who has worked with me, lived with me or just hung out with me will tell you that I am rarely satisfied. It is true; I am constantly pushing. I always want more. Not stuff – goodness knows I have too much stuff already. I want to do more, learn more, write more, share more and change more. I rarely celebrate accomplishments and often miss them entirely. If you had asked me six months ago, even two months ago, I would have claimed these traits as assets. I think I've changed my mind.

My epiphany started at a retreat recently hosted by networker extraordinaire Paul Nazareth. In the days since, I’ve come to realize that this ambition and drive that pushes me, and those around me, can also be a liability.

So my very late New Year’s resolution will be to strive for more contentment and I’ll tell you how I’m going to do that in a minute. First I must tell you about the retreat.

Purpose: As quoted in the invite from Paul: “We all attend too many "sessions" and "conferences" this is a chance to meet people and have a real, quality human connection and discuss issues and challenges if comfortable. If not, a quiet natural space to just spend a quiet moment”

Our agenda: Introductions and lunch

The place: A wonderful farmhouse in the heart of the Caledon Hills

The rules: no twitter

Who was there: A diverse group of people - for profit and non-profit folks, novices and veterans, social media junkies and other more well-rounded human beings. We were all connected to Paul some way and many of us really needed time to slow down.

Paul didn't even wear a suit!

The day was perfect; the people were warm, open, kind and interesting. We had great conversations about dogs, planned giving, personal growth and a number of other things. I even was treated to a knitting lesson from Anne Rosenfield and saw Paul in something other than a suit! The really sticky bit of the day for me was something that Colleen Bradley shared during a short structured group conversation. In her coaching work Colleen encourages people to make a list of 100 things they are grateful for. Mundane things like…a clean bathroom sink or minted toothpicks.

I confess to having heard of this before. I am even a proud owner of a dog eared copy of The Book of Awesome. Perhaps it was Colleen’s calm, gentle and inspiring presence or maybe it was because of the opportunity to pause and really listen, since the retreat I’ve started having small random thoughts of thankfulness. During these moments of purposeful gratitude I’ve come to realize that I also feel a moment of contentment. It is really nice.

So on this blog post I’m going to start my list here. I will continue sharing on twitter and facebook in the hope that perhaps you will also post small things you are grateful for and together we can share this positive energy that is created

Today I am grateful for:

1. Quiet

2. Dry clean MATCHED socks

3. My daughter

4. My son

5. My husband

6. A loving home

7. That we have enough food

8. That my puppy cuddles under blankets and warms my feet

9. A black shirt with no dog hair on it

10. Warm, clean soapy dishwater

11. When the entire kitchen is clean

12. Afternoon naps

13. Fireplaces

14. Nice hotels

15. Homemade pasta

16. When the 5:30am bus is warm

17. People who have had a profound impact on my personal and professional life:

18. High School Drama teacher Paul Kershaw

19. College Drama teacher Kathryn Shaw

20. ED at my first fundraising job Carol Luck

21. Current boss Caroline Schultz

22. Fundraiser Ken Burnett

23. My host in Nepal Ram Adhar Kapar

24. Passionate donors who REALLY care

25. Fresh snow on the car that doesn’t have ice under it

26. Sunsets

27. Sex

28. Wet dewy cool summer mornings

29. Crickets in August

30. The sound of Chase playing piano

31. The sound of Skye playing guitar

32. The amazing people who teach my children

33. When my puppy goes OUTSIDE to “relieve himself”

34. Nepal

35. India

36. The blue lagoon spa in Iceland

37. The Netherlands

38. Clean laundry

39. Sunday brunch

40. A full gas tank

41. Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc

42. Puppies who keep me warm while I’m blogging

This list will continue…

Those of us who exist to serve, who have made it our mission to create a better world, must constantly strive to do more. We must be driven and ambitious for ourselves and our organisations. We must also make time to pause every day and be grateful for small miracles. It is kind of like putting your own oxygen mask on first, the world needs us to be well.

Ambition IS an asset – when balanced with gratitude and contentment.

Will you join me and start a list of gratitude? What are you thankful for today? Please share.

 Thank you for spending time here.

Anyone can thank a donor. Just do it!

December is a fabulous month. This is the time year where we make a special effort to connect with people who are important to us. Many of us decorate our homes. We make special foods that are high in fat, sugar and ingredients we don’t normally use like dried fruits, nuts and cardamom. I love the smells, tastes and sounds of December.


If you work as a fundraiser in a charity December has an added dimension. This month can fly by in blur. All of your revenue channels are extremely active and suddenly your donors are ringing with special requests to be processed before year end. This is good. You should be busy at this time of year. Raising less money or being less busy simply isn’t an option when you are working to improve lives for people, animals and the environment.

In our office volumes have easily tripled. We have several direct mailings coming in, reports for corporate donors to prepare, a large campaign finishing up with a strong online component, major donor events, meetings and solicitations as well as pending deadlines for budgeting and planning for next year. Perhaps the most exciting piece is that for the first time in several years we have reintroduced a direct mail acquisition campaign. And the really good news is that people are responding. But last week I had a concern. Can you guess what it was?

Brilliant! You are of course right. I was worried about the new donors.

Acquisition is a big investment and it is very VERY exciting when the mail arrives. When I see new donors signing up I feel like Sally Field when she won the Oscar – “You like me; right now you really like me!” (Well, not me of course but you know what I mean)

I especially like the donations of $2.00 and $5.00 in cash that come in. So what is the concern?

You are so smart. That’s right – fast forward to the second gift. “Right now” they like us…what about three months from now? In order to build a strong base of support we must secure a second gift. And how do we do that? We need to earn it.

First time donors need to know that their donation to your organization was a good decision. They need to know we value them. They need to know their gift made a difference about something they care about. We must tell them these things and we must do it quickly.

It is so easy to write about best practices in isolation. It is far more difficult to implement them in a hectic and small fundraising shop. The perfect welcome pack and thank you letter looks easy in a blog post or in an exhibit on the beloved SOFII. But when you add implementing good stewardship practices to a complex mix of activities at such a busy time of year, even the simplest things can be onerous. Can seem impossible.

Implementing best stewardship practices in the trenches of a busy small fundraising shop in December is not easy. Still, I would argue that good stewardship is even more important in smaller organizations since we don’t have the large churn of donors that mega organizations have.

So what is the solution?

Ask for help.

In our organization we sent an email to all staff and invited them to help us thank donors. We now have a team of people who, in addition to their busy jobs, have agreed to be part of our Stellar Stewardship Team. Within a week of receiving their gift, often before we can process their donation, our new donors will know that we received their donation and are grateful. They will be told that we truly care about them and that they are now an important part of our community. Their tax receipt will follow and an impact statement won’t be far behind. We will get to processing the gifts as soon as we can, right now the most important thing is to say thank you.

As far as I’m concerned anyone in the organization can thank a donor. So, this is a shout out to the awesome stewardship team that I work with. Thank you for making time to go above and beyond your job description for our donors. Thank you for helping spread a culture of philanthropy throughout our organization. Thank you all for helping us to EARN that second gift.

I think there are times when we need to put the idea of “best practice” aside and just do what we can today to let our donors know they are truly appreciated and that their donation is important. I believe, this is how we will earn that second gift.

What is your big challenge this month and how will your organization innovate in order to rise above it?

Merry Christmas and thank you for spending time here,

Emily Post's Twitter Etiquette

 

Many of you probably remember IFC 2009. What you might not remember is that there was a twitter hashtag for it. Howard Lake, JohnLepp, a few others and I were pioneers. (sorry I don’t remember the “few others”, so please claim your cyber moment in the comments). At IFC 2009 we tweeted for the first time - that we were aware of - from a fundraising conference. In fact, I even walked the halls of IFC with John on Skype so that he could “be there”.

Two years later, tweeting from a conference is now a big part of the experience. Conference committees initiate hashtags, we have twitter boards in public areas so you can follow the online conversation and this year at congress, AFP Toronto Chapter even appointed an official twitter team.

The AFP Toronto twitter team was made up of people who have “more advanced” twitter skills. They have followers, understand the medium and have carved a place for themselves in realm of social media. This is excellent, I’m very proud of my AFP chapter and colleague Sylvie Labrosse for trying something new and formally organizing this aspect of congress for AFP. A lot of new people joined twitter and participated in the online conversations. IRL (in real life) experiences with twitter groups were incredibly fun. There was more twitter action at this conference than any other I have witnessed. This is all good stuff. A positive evolution.

And of course with any new innovation questions are bound to surface. Skeptics will emerge. Faux Pas will be made. Boundaries will be crossed. And then we need to ask ourselves: How can we make this better next time?

After Gail Perry’s excellent session on the soft side of major giving I started to ask myself what is the twitter etiquette? If Emily Post were to write a new book about the online social space, what would she say? I thought of a couple of things and I hope you will add more in the comments.

Tweeting in sessions

If you are the speaker, ask at the beginning of the session if anyone is tweeting. This lets other people in the room understand that something good is happening with the phones and that people generally aren’t being rude and texting about rubbish. (hopefully) Next establish some ground rules. For example: I encourage tweets (because which speaker on the planet wouldn’t want their wisdom broadcast across the internet!) but I ask that you don’t tweet donor stories or anecdotes that I might share about my work. Those stories are the reason you pay and invest the time to be there in person.

If you are the delegate tweeting BE NICE!

I remember this tweet from last year: “Wow so many people walking out of this “so and so’s” session is a total fail.”

I simply do not know what would motivate someone to tweet that and frankly it is a little embarrassing for everyone. A different view point is fine, healthy debates are good but some tweets just seem mean. Don’t tweet anything about a person that you wouldn’t have the courage to say to them in real life.

Establish some boundaries

Fundraising conferences can be incredibly fun. Fundraisers work hard, are often misunderstood, have extraordinary pressure from all sides of the organization. When we get together with peers sometimes we need to let off a little steam. I think this is something one needs to experience in real life. At a certain point the phones need to be put away and the party needs to become private. 

For example: Harvey McKinnon and I like to dance as if no one is watching. You are welcome to join us anytime. But it isn’t pretty – in fact it is a wonder that people don’t end up hospitalized. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that the spectacle does NOT need to be on the internet. Just come dance with us.

Further, use your smartsense when tweeting from a cocktail party. Before you publish a photo of someone with drinks in their hand or looking slightly intoxicated stop and ask yourself: Would I put this up on the internet if it was me? Will this picture add value to anyone’s life? Or is the photo too gossipy?

Again the twitter team did a fabulous job last week and I congratulate them for their leadership and commitment to this new dimension of conferences. Emily Post did all major gift fundraisers a great service all those years ago. It is important to have a good base of etiquette to draw on in high end social situations. I feel the time has come for Miss Manners to write a new online version for tweeting in social situations.  Or at the very least before we tweet from a conference we could ask ourselves: 

What would Emily Post do?

If you were to write a Miss Manner’s book for tweeting in social situations what would you be sure to include? Let’s talk about it.

Thank you for spending time here,
 
PS Another question surfaced about whether people should have two twitter accounts - one for business and one for more personal tweets. I thought that might fit into this post but it is a different topic so it deserves its own page.

A lesson in good fundraising and a story about a walk in the mountains

After spending about a week doing charity work in the Kathmandu and the Terai Region of Nepal I had a few days for rest, writing and reflection in a touristy mountain village called Nagarkot.

It was the festival weekend of Diwali and sitting on the balcony of my little mountain hut I could hear singing and music below. I wanted to visit the villages and see the people. So Ram, the host of my hotel (which is so remote you have to pay cash and it does not have a website) drew me this map.

This map follows a trail that is essentially straight down and took me past a small cheese factory, a school and through several villages. My final destination was a village called Baluwa Pati.

The trail was a narrow local one and along the way I saw many children in their uniforms heading up the mountain to school.

First there were teenagers obviously having to go all the way up to Nagarkot. They greeted me with a polite “Namaste” and some snickers. At times I felt like some of them were secretly laughing at me, a silly lone western women who was likely to get lost on their small trails. But they were polite and a few even posed for pictures.

A little further down, past the small school in the mountain side were younger children. Their “NAMASTE’s” were all in capital letters - enthusiastic and very excited. These children gladly stopped to have their picture taken. Some of them even practiced their English with a shy and quiet “good morning”.

It was a perfect walk, all downhill, warm but not hot.I loved seeing all the people, their homes carved into the side of the mountain, carrying on with normal morning chores like dishes, laundry and feeding livestock. 

Eventually my interactions with the children changed. Those who weren’t at school, were still happy to have their photograph taken. The only difference is after I took the photo, instead of ‘namaste’ (good morning) or “dahanyavad” (thank you) they said: “Rupies?… one rupee?” and they followed me with their hand stretched out. At first I didn’t know what was happening. I was still experiencing the euphoria of a pleasant walk down a mountain. Then I figured it out. The expected exchange after a photograph, was a reward. After several refusals of a rupee solicitation, the asks were automatically downgraded to “chocolate?” and then “crayons?”

When I look at the amazing photos I've collected I think back and wonder if perhaps it was a fair exchange and if I should have paid for the photos. But at the time being repeatedly solicited was getting annoying. I began to dislike the mountain people of Nepal and wished to be back in the Terai region. (I also became angry at every westerner before me who taught these children to beg. But that is a topic for another blog.)

I started to see these adorable little people as annoying urchins. I stopped making eye contact, didn’t bother with my camera and there was no way anyone was going to get a rupee!  

THIS…I thought to myself, is probably EXACTLY what donor fatigue feels like.

I finally reached Baluwa Pati. A nice little place. It had more buildings than the other villages. There was also a store and a school. I had obviously reached the source of the Diwali music and the party from the night before. But, my mood to become absorbed in local culture was ruined. I just wanted to get back to the sanctuary of my quiet little off the grid room. It was then that I turned around for the first time to look up toward Nagarkot. SHIT! To reach my hotel, which I could almost see, I would need a rocket ship. It turns out that a “leisurely” walk in Nepal comes at a very high cost. There aren't any photos of this dark moment.

Then I saw the motorcycle. It was red. It was shiny. It was brand new. It appeared to be the only vehicle in the village! I needed to find the owner and beg him for a ride. I started to ask who owned the bike. No one seemed to know. No one seemed to understand. The driver was not to be found. The entire village was now surfacing, but no one spoke English and no one knew who owned this bike.

Some young men stopped their gambling to approach me. They saw that I was obviously in over my head and gestured to a rundown truck behind a building and said, “3,000 rupees.” This felt too much like extortion. I would walk up! They followed for a while and I suddenly felt very vulnerable.

Enter Prakash, a boy of 15 years old.

Prakash noticed that I was unsure of my route. He saw that I wanted to get away from the gambling men. He saw that I was tired and alone in a foreign land. He saw that I was physically weak. He also knew that I had rupees in my backpack.

Prakash was polite, spoke my language and was well groomed. Further, Prakash offered me something I needed - assistance getting back to Nagarkot and the safety of having a guide.

We did have to walk. But we walked slowly, we talked along the way. He was confident with our route. Prakash also fed me bits of information along the way - like he was an orphan and how difficult it was to stay in school. He was patient with my slow pace and very gracious about the fact that I did not share the little water I had left. I made a choice to trust him.

Two hours into our walk I told Prakash that I would give him 300 rupees to thank him. He told me that with 500 he could get a new school uniform. At this I smiled with admiration. Not because I believed him but because Prakash is probably the very best fundraiser I had ever met. I gave him 500 rupees and told him I could manage the rest on my own. He then skipped up the mountain and out of site.

For the rest of that uphill climb, I thought about the donor journey and what motivates people to give. I was solicited about a dozen times by people who just seemed to feel they deserved my money because I had it and they didn’t. This wore me down and made me grumpy. Prakash offered me a service, moved at my pace, slowly shared information and earned my financial support. Support that I gave willingly with no solicitation – AND then he upgraded me with a very specific ask!

So dear reader, I hope that you will also think about whether you are truly EARNING the support of your donors through good service or just demanding a donation because you feel your charity deserves it. I will always remember what it feels like to be treated like an ATM and will always remember Prakash's skills as one of the very best donor centred fundraisers I have ever met.

And yes eventually I did make it back to Nagarkot.

Thank you for spending sooo much time here today,

Nepal post #3 - Rolling up our sleeves

As you know Anna Walsh and I are working in Nepal for a couple of weeks. Yesterday we met the staff in the Kathmandu office of the Rural Community Development Service Council (RCDSC).

The purpose of the day was a briefing to help us better understand the work of the RCDSD and the complexities of the social society in Nepal. Sounds pretty typical.

But it was anything from it for Anna and me.

This visit was probably the best charity visit ever in the HISTORY of visits!

When we arrived all the staff came out to greet us. They had the biggest smiles and Anna and I finished the greeting with our arms full of flowers. I think it fair to say that we both felt a little overwhelmed and once again humbled.

We were guided to a meeting room with no table and only one chair. The chair was for me. I thanked them for their thoughtfulness and accepted a cushion on the floor.

Once we were all seated everyone took turns standing up and introducing themselves. It was clear that they had rehearsed their introductions and we were very touched.

We then rolled up our sleeves and got to work. The playing field was level. We were all fundraisers working for ways to make life better for the marginalized people of Nepal.


Also proud to say we only used the chair once...to keep our flowers safe and in view. In time I will upload a video of a portion of this meeting but given the random internet access I think it best to share some photos with you for today.

Tomorrow we will be heading out into the field and I will post again when a reliable internet connection can be found.
I am currently blogging from a lobby computer in Nepal and uploading more pics seems to be challenging. But I could do it on facebook so have a look at the album here
You can read posts #1 and #2 about working in Nepal here and here.
Thank you for joining us on this adventure.

Nepal post #2 - Flooding in Mahottari

In early October I received the letter below from Ram Kapar. You will remember I talked about meeting him and my working vacation in Nepal that starts tomorrow in my post here.

If you don't have time to read the entire letter just skim it down to see more images of the floods at the bottom.

Dear Kimberley,

Rural Community development Service Council (RCDSC) is a Non-profit organization in Nepal.RCDSC has been working in the Terai Region of Nepal for
more than a decade now and has been continuously supporting the needy
people as and when necessary especially, in natural calamities. At
present, due to continuous rain for three days, there is flood in our
working area and the houses of people are drowned. People’s personal
belongings like clothes, cooking pots etc are seen floating. The
government is trying its best to support the needy community but the
resources are not reaching out to the real helpless community. Around
45,000 poor people have lost their houses (made up of clay and bricks),
lost their belongings and more than 15 children are missing. People are
running out their homes seeking shelter in flood-free area but since the
flood is everywhere in the region there is no way out. The livelihood of
the community is at risk due to unavailability of food, drinking water,
road access and almost everything. Road way has been completely blocked,
electricity is cut-off and food stored at house is swept away or is
overflowed by water.

The condition is more pathetic in Mahottari and Dhanusha district as the
embankment of river has been damaged and the water is flowing into
Jaleswar Municipality. It is obvious that the community of the region is
sure to bear water borne diseases and epidemics. First aid kids and packed
foods are the immediate need to reduce humanitarian casualties and
suffering from reaching out to panic.

Therefore, RCDSC likes to request you to forward this message to as many
support organizations as possible such that RCDSC will work this year too
like previous years for reducing fatalities and from spreading of diseases
and rehabilitation of poor people's residence after the flood is
controlled.

I have attached photograph of the area where our social workers could
reach out capturing the flood of the area for your kind information and
comprehend the situation live.

Thanking for kind and generous support from you in this regards

Ram Adhar Kapar
Chairperson

Thank you for spending time here,

From the fundraising trenches of Canada to the fundraising trenches of Nepal

At the moment I am nursing a hangover. Not the mind numbing hangover induced by over consumption, but a physical one that can only be earned from 20 hours of traveling to the other side of the world.

As I write this, I am sitting in a tightly manicured garden (above) in New Delhi, India where the air is hanging thick with heat and moisture. There is a symphony of birds in the trees above and car horns are honking incessantly in the distance. Here I am once again, with the familiar humble feeling that I have much more to learn from this wonderful land and the magnificent people here than I could possibly teach.

I wish I could start this story by saying I have an extensive background in International Development and a deep understanding of the complex issues faced by charities in South East Asia and specifically Nepal. Surely a degree in something could be useful at this juncture. Sitting here with my swollen feet and my sandy eyes, I’ve come to realize that the only possible way to begin this story is to start by telling you about how I first met Ram Adhar Kapar.

Ram is the Chairperson for the Rural Community Development Service Council (RCDSC) based in Kathmandu, Nepal. The RCDSC is a civil society organization dedicated to the rights of excluded groups and communities in the Terai region.

The RCDSC also has a national scope and is very much a leader of social change in the country.

I first met Ram while doing research for a trip to Jaipur, India in 2008. I was going there to speak about SOFII at the South Asian Fundraising Group Workshop. Ram and I quickly decided to meet in Jaipur and discuss some strategic organizational and funding issues for the RCDSC.

When I first sat down in person with Ram and he told me about the marginalized Dalit people and the way the RCSDC works to help them lead a sustainable life, with dignity and respect in the society I was deeply moved. Ram’s passion is intense – in fact it was contagious. I was also impressed with how very smart, patient and committed he is to strengthening the capacity of his organization and reducing their reliance on international aid. You can read more about the current situation in the Mahottari and Dhanusha districts here.

It must also also be said that Ram is the most determined man I have ever met. In spite of over two years of my protests and reminding him that, at the moment, I am not a full time consultant, Ram has convinced me to spend my holiday in Nepal visiting the people he works with and learning more about his country.

So, this year instead of going to the International Fundraising Conference, I’ll be learning about international fundraising in the trenches of Kathmandu. And for better or worse, instead of an academic degree, I’ll bring forward a deep curiosity about the issues and the local people. I also hope to share my experience of fundraising in the trenches of Canada in a way that will be meaningful and helpful for fundraising in the trenches of Nepal.

Together, and with my travel companion and colleague Anna Walsh we will work on how to tell the story of the Nepalese Dalit people and the work of RCDSC in a way that compels people around the world to become engaged and make donations to help.

Please check back often to read our stories so that together we will learn more about the joys and challenges of fundraising in one of the poorest countries in the world.

Thank you for joining me for this adventure.

PS In fact tomorrow in Kathmandu will be the first time Anna and I meet beyond twitter. How we came to be traveling together will be a blog post in and of itself.

The evolution of a blog - one fundraiser's experience

When I started blogging I read a book to learn how to start. A real, hardcopy book. "Blogging for dummies" or something. Then a colleague told me to post three times a week. Advice I took seriously. If you go to the very first few months of this blog you will see a lot of mediocre posts. I'll leave them there for your entertainment.

About one year later a mentor told me to stop posting rubbish. To go for quality not quantity. It was a painful lesson. I was very proud of my blog. But he was right. So posts became less frequent and longer.

There are a few posts that people seemed to like more than others and perhaps it is worth reminding you of them:

My first post in 2008

Leadership

Legacies

Working with a Board of Directors

Working with consultants

SOFII

Getting unstuck

Being "Donor Centred"

A blog is a place to share ideas and thoughts when you feel you have something that is worth sharing. It evolves over time as you do. For me this blog also serves to chronicle my growth - personally and professionally.

Over the next few weeks I'll be starting a new adventure. I'll be using my vacation time to travel to Nepal where I will learn about the challenges and joys of international fundraising ...from the trenches. This blog will be my place to share stories of the experience with you. So please stay tuned. Our adventure is about to begin.

Thank you for spending time here,

Faith, Focus, Discipline and Kindness

Recently someone said to me:

"It seems like that's what you do. Your a last minute kind of girl."

That got me thinking because yes there are times when I do spend a lot more time in the IMPORTANT/URGENT box instead of the preferred IMPORTANT/NON URGENT box.

So I've been thinking why is that? Well sometimes it is just the reality of working in the trenches of a generalist fundraising shop. Spring is always busy. This year especially. In the past five weeks I have:

- presented annual results and new plans to the board
- launched a major fundraising campaign
- hosted a donor event for 80 people
- written and produced an annual report
- planning a brand new session (upon request not from my head) for AFP

Sometimes I have had to email my staff and tell them that I'm unavailable for everything - except my priority. Anything they need that has to do with the event, the campaign or the annual report, well...that's all I can think about. Focus. Delivery is about focus. But what about all that other stuff? It is still there. In my head, keeping me awake.

Most recently I've been worrying about my AFP session. There simply wasn't any room in my brain for it. When I was asked for my slides a few weeks ago I just laughed out loud and said - sorry not possible.

But this morning a miracle happened. I woke up with an outline, references and a vision for worksheets and tools. How did that happen? Well...I think it is because yesterday I also sent off the content of my Annual Report to the copy editor. The week before our major campaign launched, the week before 80 people were fed and a newsletter was written and the week before I had a major presentation to make to my board of directors.

Yes I might be a "Last minute" girl. But that is only because to do things well I need to focus on them. When there is space made in my brain the next important thing that was waiting takes over and falls into place. While it would be nice to have more time in between major tasks the reality is that fundraisers in the trenches have no control over how quickly things are going to come at us. Especially in a dynamic organization that is growing.

What is the learning here?

I think it is that in order to be remarkable - we need to be focussed, we need to have faith, discipline and finally we need to be kind - to ourselves.

Faith that we know what we are doing.

Focus on doing one thing really well at a time.

Discipline to not get distracted by things that won't help achieve our current objective.

Kindness to ourselves with understanding that sometimes are busier than others and we can only do what we can do.

I am very much looking forward to my session at AFP next week and after that - I think I'll do some gardening.

Thank you for spending time here,

"We messed up." When bad timing makes for bad PR. How would you respond?

Yesterday devastating tornados tore across the southern United States and close to 300 people died.

Yesterday Backcountry.com tried a fresh new approach and sent out an email entitled: "Mother Nature hates you. Deal with it."

It would seem that yesterday was also the day when a bold risk from an outdoor gear company and the weather clashed.




My honeymoon( 16 years ago!) took place above the tree line in the Rocky Mountains of British Columbia. I get the idea behind the approach. A good gortex jacket can make or break an outdoor experience. On its own this is refreshing marketing. Yesterday was just bad timing.

So what did Backcountry.com do?

They were proactive, took responsibility (even though I'm not sure they should have) and apologized. Here is the email we received today:


Subject: Apology for yesterdays email

Dear Craig,

We messed up. Yesterday, as the people of Alabama dealt with the devastating aftermath of an intensely damaging and life-taking tornado, we neglected to put a stop to the distribution of an email with the header: "Mother Nature hates you. Deal with it." This was extremely insensitive and offensive, and we are so sorry.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for this mistake. What was intended to be witty marketing copy may have been when we wrote these words two weeks ago, but in light of current events and the suffering of people affected by Mother Nature's wrath, it is not only not witty, it is completely unacceptable. We at Backcountry.com send our deepest condolences to the families of those who lost their lives and to everyone now faced with rebuilding their homes and their communities.

And again, we extend our sincerest apologies for our lack of foresight and our complete insensitivity in sending yesterday's email.

Sincerely,
Jill Layfield
CEO
Backcountry.com

Now I'm pretty sure that no one could have forseen two weeks ago the devastating impact this tornado would have, or even the tornado itself. I also think that our dear friend Jill may have gone a bit overboard with her humility and apologies. However, their swift action in drafting this email and sending it out admitting that they were insensitive and apologizing is very cool public relations. They turned on a dime and because of that I'll shop there more often. Will you?

Thanks for spending time here.